The Search
by Arcanine
Summary: Miaka has lost something vital to the summoning of Suzaku...and I'm not talking about the scroll. Now it's up to her and the seishi to reclaim her lost virginity! What will happen along the way? Who stole it? Find out! R&R, please!!
1. It BEGINS!

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! My computer was broken, actually. But now it's fixed! I have an original idea, too! It's called "What happens when a psycho authoress takes something way too literally in her desperate search for a fanfic idea?" 

****

Lost

It was a normal morning in Konan—at least as normal as it could be with Miaka and the seishi around! Miaka woke up with a sense that something was missing. She began turning objects over, upside down, opening drawers and other things when Tamahome walked by, sweatdropping.

"Uh…did you lose something?" Tamahome asked.

"Yes, but I don't know what it is!" Miaka complained.

"That makes a lot of sense…" muttered Tamahome.

At that moment, Miaka's stomach growled loudly.

"Well, it sure isn't your appetite!" remarked Tamahome. "Let's go eat breakfast, and then you can tell the other seishi in case they find anything."

Before Tamahome could even finish his sentence, however, Miaka had run past him screeching "BREAKFAST!" Tamahome could only wonder how she could be so obsessed over one thing, conveniently forgetting his own obsession with money. 

When Miaka had eaten enough breakfast to talk with her mouth full and still be understood, she told the seishi that she was missing something.

"Maybe it's intelligence?" Tasuki joked, and was immediately bashed into the wall, courtesy of Nuriko.

"No, he's still here!" Miaka said, pulling out a cage with a hamster in it. 

A label on his cage read "Intelligence the Hamster". He squeaked hello to everyone and went back to eating his little hamster pellets. Miaka put him and his cage back into the little plot hole they came out of and resumed conversation.

"Well, we can be thankful it's not her clothes." Nuriko said, and almost everyone cheered in agreement.

"Whatever she lost must be either extremely obvious and stupid that we are unable to realize it, or so challenging that we are unable to guess it." Chiriko said.

"Hey…Where's Hotohori?" asked Miaka, suddenly realizing the absence of Konan's emperor.

At that moment, however, Hotohori burst into the room.

"Miaka! I have terrible news!" he announced. "Something of yours has been stolen from the Royal Safe That Isn't So Safe Because A Burglar Broke Into It Last Night And Stole Something Of Yours From It!!"

"NOOOOOOOOO! NOT MY CHOCOLATE!" wailed Miaka.

"The chocolate is still there, Miaka." Hotohori said.

Miaka immediately breathed a sigh of relief. 

"What *was* stolen, then?" asked Chiriko.

"I am afraid that, until it is found, Miaka will not be able to summon Suzaku." Hotohori said.

"Huh? I already have the _Universe of the Four Gods_ scroll…" Miaka said.

"Tasuki may have been right about her intelligence no da…" Chichiri mumbled.

"You don't mean—" Mitsukake began.

"Oh! You mean THAT." Miaka said, finally realizing it.

"Who stole it?!" demanded Tamahome.

"Obviously someone who didn't want Miaka to summon Suzaku." Nuriko answered.

"We don't know…But we must leave at once to find it!" Hotohori exclaimed.

"I don't get it…" Chiriko said.

"We'll explain when yer older." Tasuki said, covering the younger seishi's ears.

And so, the Suzaku seishi set off on a quest to reclaim the Suzaku no Miko's lost virginity.

****

OUTTAKE:

Ashitare: I stole the Suzaku no Miko's virginity!

*Crickets chirp*

Ashitare: What? *Holds up bottle labeled "Suzaku no Miko's virginity"*

All: OH!

Nakago: *Grabs it* I stole Ashitare's virginity!

Everyone: *On the floor laughing at him*

Nakago: Oops…

Suboshi: *Steals it* I STOLE NAKAGO'S—I MEAN, SUZAKU NO MIKO'S—

Amiboshi: Give me that! *Takes it from Suboshi*

Miboshi: *Floats over and grabs it away from Amiboshi* Now I have it! HAH!!

*A major fight ensues between all of the Seiryuu seishi minus Soi*

~End outtake~

How was that? Good, I hope! Please review! But first, PREVIEW QUESTIONS!

**__**

What will happen next?

Who stole the virginity from the Safe that isn't really very safe?

Why isn't the safe a safe place?

Will one of the Suzaku seishi confess to stealing it?

Will it be a Seiryuu seishi?

Where will they travel to find out?

Will Ashitare actually be the one to steal it?

Why can't I think of good questions today?

Why wasn't my computer fixed sooner?

Why does Ka Chou Fuu Getsu scare people?

Why are some people normal?

Why do people even bother reading these questions?

When will Skipsida update "What About"?

When will Huffpuff update any of her fics?

When will I ever stop asking questions?

Will you review now?

^_^


	2. Dedicated to

And also, I forgot to say.I'd like to dedicate this fic to three people who mobbed me when I signed online today! Huffpuff, TA and Lily-chan! Take a bow, people! :-P  
  
You can expect a new chapter of this fic coming soon, as well as a chapter of Seishi Race! And maybe the M&M fic!  
  
~Arc 


	3. In Which I Actually Continue It!

A/N: ...My parents are away for the weekend. *does a little dance* Unfortunately, I'm at my grandma's house. Though she's got internet access, the computer goes slow. Damn lack of DSL/cable/whatever. *beats it with a stick* But, hey! I'm alive and I figured that because my brain is too dead to do much, I'll try to update as many fics as possible. Sure it's late, but I'm sure I have at least an hour left to be online...

This chapter is dedicated to...er...nobody, because I'd have to name too many people. O.o

Disclaimer: I don't own Miaka's virginity. I don't WANT to own it. That currently belongs to whoever stole it. Good for them. I don't own the FY cast. Doesn't my life suck... I'm probably going to exaggerate everything dramatically here, I tend to do that when I'm tired...

The Search, Chapter 2, Which Is Listed As Chapter 3

They're Looking WHERE?!

Ah, yet another beautiful day. The Suzaku seishi had taken to the road in search of their Miko's precious virginity. Each had his own reason. Tamahome wanted it because he was hentai like that. Tasuki wanted it so he could plant it in Tamahome's room, playing a joke on everyone's (least) favorite character. Mitsukake wanted it so he'd get some attention, as did Chiriko. Hotohori wanted it because, well, he's the Emperor and he said so. Nuriko wanted it so he could blackmail Miaka into making Hotohori notice him some more. Chichiri was a monk. Enough said. But nobody cared about them, did they?

~*~

"We've just received word that the Suzaku no Miko's virginity has been stolen." Nakago reported to the Seiryu seishi and Miko as they stood in a football-style huddle. (Quite scary to think about...) "I was not aware of this, but we can use it to our advantage. If we find it first, we can hold it for ransom."

"Wow, I never knew Nakago thought like a petty criminal..." muttered Miboshi, because Miboshi needs to have at least one line at some point. 

Everyone ignored him.

Each of the Seiryu seishi had their own ideas on this, but they kept 'em secret, lest the others realize just what was going on in their minds. Evil, evil plans were being formed.

~*~

"But I'm hungry!!!!" Miaka whined for the seventh time since their last rest stop, five minutes ago.

"We just stopped no da..." Chichiri muttered exasperatedly.

Miaka sniffled a bit, then continued to whine. She latched onto Tamahome's arm, refusing to let go. And then she continued to whine in her annoying, whiny voice, "Tama...make them stop..." 

Tamahome sweatdropped. "Uh...Can we stop so Miaka will stop leeching onto my arm?"

Huh? Tama didn't want Miaka to be near him? A closer look revealed that he was losing circulation, fast. Any longer and he might lose all feeling and have to get it amputated. But enough of a violent anti-Tamahome author's rantings. They stopped outside the nearest place to partake of their meal. Yes, partake. Because 'tis a fun word. ^^

"While we're here, we should search for whatever Miaka lost." Chiriko suggested. "Even though I don't know what it is yet..."

"Er...this is a stable, Chiriko. I dun think some horse'd steal Miaka's--" Tasuki began.

"Be quiet, no da!" Chichiri exclaimed, bopping Tasuki on the head with a loaf of bread he stole from Miaka. "Someone could have hidden it here, anyway no da."

"..." said Mitsukake silently.

AND THEN, OUT OF NOWHERE, SUBOSHI JUMPED OUT FROM BEHIND A NEARBY TREE! Everyone stared at him, because he wasn't wearing socks. Everyone knows that bare feet are naked. Therefore, Suboshi was naked. The sockless, "nude" Suboshi was oh-so-stared-at. 

"AAAH! MY POOR VIRGIN EYES!!" exclaimed Nuriko, who one might guess would be the least likely to be a virgin.

"By the four gods, man, aren't your feet cold?!" demanded Hotohori [*].

~*~

[*] Idea given to me by the coolest person ever! ^^; But who that is, wouldn't you like to know?

__

What the hell was up with Hotohori's last comment?

Why is Suboshi there?

Hell, why is Suboshi sockless?!

Is that anything like the Kenshin instrumental "Starless"?

Why is the Shaman King song "Ryuuro" infinitely cooler than most songs?

Why the hell am I ranting about things that don't relate to my fic?

This is why I need to get some sleep...

Why do humans count sheep?

Do sheep count humans?

If your best friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

Will you review?

Will I remember to continue this fic any time soon?

Who knows...

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